Shorely This Can't Be Serious

Since I started this blog, I think this is the longest I have gone between posts, so I hope I will have a good amount to write about today.

First, I'd like to discuss the epic television programming that has hit nearly every TV from here to Timbuktu for people in the 18-30 year old demographic. Of course, I am talking about the #1 new hit show, Jersey Shore. Yes, this show has been on for a few months now, and yes, I am helplessly addicted. This is coming from the guy who generally denounces reality television because it's like 2 month old trash--- it stinks like shit, but by the time it gets to you, it's generally watered down and there is no substance at all. Jersey Shore is no different, but I can't stop watching this show. The characters are exactly that--- characters. I don't think Scorsese or James Cameron could have written characters this out of control and this unfortunate because no one would believe them. However, when it's "real," it's real.

There are two specific issues that I just love about this show which I would like to discuss. The first is the age-old process of GTL. For you non-guidos out there, this stands for Gym, Tan, Laundry. This is the process before a big night on the town. Ok, I have no problem with these guys being meat-heads, or the fact that they were shirts with more sparkles on them than the finest Colombian bam-bam. However, I do not understand why they go to the "tannin' salon" when the premise of the show requires them to live at the beach, at a beach house nonetheless. Anyone else confused by this "situation?" Indoor ski facilities may be a big hit on the main island of Honshu in Japan, but you'd have to be out of your fucking mind to think that would work in Aspen, Colorado..... Next.

Snookie. Snookie may be my favorite character on the show. Why? Because she is so inherently stupid. She isn't "can't do calculus" stupid or "I think that Boston is right next to Massachusetts" stupid. She's "I don't eat lobster because it was alive at one point but I'll gladly chomp down on a big-ass steak" stupid. You have to give someone credit for that. The whole gang of guidos and guidettes were celebrating something (not sure what, maybe Italian independence day, or maybe the opening of a new hair gel store) and The Situation was cooking up a fine Surf N Turf dinner comprised of steak and lobster. Well, Snookie, the aspiring veterinarian, was absolutely disgusted by the boiling of the lobster because she doesn't eat things which were at one point alive. Well, flash forward to the lovely MTV-inspired montage of them eating their dinner and she is chomping down steak the entire time, getting enough saturated fat to make her breathers breathe even more. Dumbing herself down? No. She's just that dumb. Yes.